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Heeding the Call of Your Conscience

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My message for my students of late has been centered around where you make your choices from. We are in times where the causality of our choices is leading to the effects we must experience in the outside world at a quicker rate than ever before, and the speed will only increase as we collectively move forward on our ascension path.  So, what do your choices have to do with your conscience?


Remember how I quoted Jiminy Cricket's "let your conscience be your guide" mantra in my last blog? It is a statement full of Truth and wisdom. To reiterate, your conscience is Divine. It is part of your Knowing as a divine aspect of Great Spirit and to follow one's conscience is to remain on course along the path that Spirit has laid out for itself as you. Conscience is listed in the dictionary as:  "the inner sense of what is right or wrong in one's conduct or motives, impelling one toward right action."  I like this definition, as right action is a term my students are all very familiar with.  If we break the word down into its two parts, con from the Latin meaning with and science from the Latin for knowledge, we can see from a higher level that the Divine is built into the meaning of the word. The omniscient, or all-knowing, God IS The Knower. One's conscience, therefore, is with, or within, the Knower. So, to follow one's conscience is to follow the Divine that you are.

It seems simple enough, doesn't it?  Yet, people get confused between conscience and imprinted beliefs of right and wrong. Here's how you can tell the difference. All things in this world present in opposites. We make a grave mistake by labeling anything as definitely right or wrong without acknowledging all the grey area between the polarities.  Let's take killing as an example. The vast majority of the people on the planet believe killing other humans is wrong. Of those who believe in the eye for an eye mentality behind the death penalty and see killing of a guilty individual as justifiable, the vast majority of those would agree that the killing of an innocent person is wrong. So, now most of the people on the planet will fall into this category: it is wrong for an individual to kill an innocent person. However, how many of these people will have to rethink that belief when presented with a situation such as Dr. Kevorkian, who assisted terminally ill patients with their own suicides? Now we have an individual killing an innocent person. Some would argue that the consent of the person to be killed makes the difference here, but you see my point. Things in this world are never simple to label as always right or wrong. We teach our children that it is wrong to lie, yet is it wrong to lie to someone about where you're taking them on the way to their surprise birthday party? If an old woman was on her death bed with only minutes to live and you got word that her son, who was on his way to be with her, was killed in a car accident, would it be wrong to withhold the truth of his death from her, or tell her he's on his way? Or, because lying is "wrong," should you just tell her the truth and watch her experience the agony of her loss during her final moments of life?

Beliefs are tricky things. The mind loves to identify with them and we work very hard to hold ourselves firmly to our beliefs, yet the mind is also very adept at skirting around those beliefs when it's convenient and can serve its selfish agendas. It can always come up with a benevolent justifier for acting out of alignment with its beliefs, like the man who says he doesn't believe in physical violence but hits his child and justifies the behavior by saying that the child asked for it. Did physical violence all of a sudden become right just because the man got angry and couldn't control his temper? No, of course not. But the man will not allow himself to see his own hypocrisy, so he must now believe in his story of how the child brought it on himself.

Your conscience, on the other hand, is pretty black and white. Within your Knowing, you always have a sense of what is right action for you. Most of the time it is very subtle and we move through our lives not hearing the voice of the conscience very often. But, when we do, it is loud and clear to those who pay attention.  The best way to describe the feeling when one's actions are out of alignment with one's conscience is this: it's icky. That's right, it just feels icky inside you as you go to make a decision that is not right action for you. It's certainly not a technical term, but I'm sure you all know that feeling.  It's the feeling you women have experienced when you've allowed yourselves to be sexual with a man when you really didn't want to. It's the feeling many of you men had as children when other boys dared you to do something that you normally wouldn't do, like beat up another boy or steal something. It's the feeling that men and women experience at the wedding altar when a small part of them realizes they are making a mistake, yet they don't stop the wedding. 

Your conscience is specific to you. It is not tied to beliefs, but is integral to who you are and what this manifestation of you is meant to become.  I worked for a stock broker for a few years as an executive assistant. I was very good at my job, but I was really only there for the money and the sense of self-importance the job gave me. Because it was a very small firm, the owner needed me to get my Series 7 license so that I could handle trades in his absence. I took that test 3 times and I failed it 3 times...the last two times by one question! Each time, I had that icky feeling inside, telling me that this just wasn't my path and I needed to come clean with my boss, but I ignored it, convinced that the raise it would bring me would be worth it. As a National Honor's Society student with an above average IQ, there was absolutely no reason for me to fail this test three times, no matter how hard I studied. The result of my successive failures was being let go by my boss and it was hind site which showed me what a gift in disguise that was. However, imagine if I had just listened to that inner voice from the beginning. The one that said, "What are you doing? You know in your heart that this isn't your path." It would have saved my employers all that money, they could have found someone better suited to the job sooner, and I wouldn't have had to experience all the angst I went through, just to end up being fired anyway.  The initial choice to take the job was made because I needed a job, I believed things about what the job said about who I was and I believed that money was more important and should be valued above my own happiness. These were beliefs that I learned as a child...that we all learn as children. Parents may tell their children that the most important thing in life is to be happy and that they should do what they love, but what kind of example have they set? They speak the words, but their actions prove otherwise to their innocent children who pattern themselves after their miserable, stressed-out parents who consistently point to the importance of money in life. And so it goes, on and on, people spouting out platitudes of how life should be, yet no one speaking is even listening to their own conscience and living the kind of life they espouse.

My path was never to be a stock broker. For some, it is. And those who have that as their divine plan would not experience the tugging of their conscience at the thought of taking the Series 7 test like I did. See how it is unique to you?

So, where are you not in alignment with your conscience in your life right now? When you find an area, you can look back and see where your conscience has given you indicators along the way that you were off course and you consistently ignored your own God Self. Then you can begin to take a good hard look at what kept you from taking right action and confronting those fears within yourself. You see, it's never been about those people in your life who have imposed themselves on you. It's always been about why you allowed it. That answer lies within you and it is your job now to uncover what you have not wanted to see.

You are a great sailing ship on the sea of God. The winds of the world will blow, to and fro, and your conscience will be your rudder.



Witness the Despair, but Don't Despair

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I see so much despair in the world right now. I have watched it systematically work its way into the conscious minds of my students through their life experiences, and I am also watching it become more conscious within the collective.  Humanity's combined fear of experiencing the level of despair present in the collective unconscious has historically lead to social programming based in denial, repression, and false hope. Few, especially in the industrialized countries of the world, have allowed themselves to truly feel the deep levels of pain that the collective holds, yet we all feel it deep within.

It takes the courage of a warrior to go into that pain, see the lessons in it, and walk through the other side stronger and fearless of the future. That is your job as a seeker, you know. If you want to know God, then you will have to be willing to allow grief and despair course through you until their energetic stranglehold has been released. Most of my students are no strangers to despair. Some know it all too well and had become users of antidepressant medications in order to keep the wolf at bay. Other students of mine repressed their grief early on and became tough on the outside so that no one would see their pain, even to the point where even they couldn't see it clearly anymore. And then there are other students who learned to paste a smile on their faces for themselves and the world and have done their best to deny the reality of their sadness by affirming that things will surely get better, yet they never actually do.

Do these different types of students have anything in common? Of course! They're all the same, really. They have all learned to take on certain behaviors in response to the pain in their lives. By now, you probably are aware of the main roles that get played by the personality. There's the victim ("poor me" - those who end up getting stuck in depression), the perpetrator ("poor me, so screw you" - those who put on a harsh front for the world) and the savior ("Poor you. Don't worry, it will all be just fine" - those who pretend to be happy). And what do each of these have in common?  The base role for each is the same: the victim. Perpetrator and savior roles come out of the victim as the victim swings out of the lower states of mind. The perpetrator is very self-righteous and will stay in negative states of mind from that space, while the savior will swing into positive states of mind in order to feel better about a situation. But, they're all victims at the core.

The entire collective of humanity is experiencing this.  On a grander scale, we can see whole societies playing the role of victim (Israel), perpetrator (Iraq) and savior (United States). Of course, perspective plays a large role, doesn't it? For those in the west, maybe this list looks accurate, but for those in the middle east, I'm sure the collective does not experience the US as a savior, for instance. But, you get my point. The roles are always played out in some fashion, from the individual, through increasingly larger collectives until you reach the macrocosm (such as the sun as savior, sometimes perpetrator, and the Earth as savior and sometimes victim).

But, what is the despair actually based in? Have you thought to really look at it yet?  You've spent so much time running from your own pain that it never occurred to you to turn around and face it head on. If you did, would you find the pain you fear? Maybe...but not for long. You see, the pain you felt then may have been real enough in the moment, but it's only real and scary to you now because you continue to hold the story of it in place, and the energy of pain is trapped within you. The pain is still personal, but it doesn't need to be. The suffering experienced as a child resulted in the psyche taking on defense mechanisms which served a purpose for the child at the time, but those attitudes and behaviors that were taken on don't need to define you as an adult. In fact, they will only continue to hurt you as an adult if your desire is to live a life of love and joy.

This is where the spiritual warrior really shows his strength. You see, it is difficult enough to face the fears and the projected pain necessary to see through the illusion of separation, and only a handful of seekers out of a hundred will be willing to dive that deep. Out of that handful, there may only be one who can take it to the next level, where the personal becomes impersonal and the story no longer holds an emotional charge at all...even stories that are currently running. There is a level of detachment that the adept lives in which must be reached in order to transcend the life/death cycle. This is not psychological disassociation, although to the world, it can look like it.  The adept no longer identifies with the personal stories of the world, meaning that there is no attachment to the personal story of "me" anymore and he/she doesn't get pulled into others' "me" stories, either. The adept lives a life where she can witness despair in the world, feel compassion for those in despair, yet experience no sense of despair herself. She is the objective observer of her own world, and not the "do-er" in it.

Become more conscious of the stories of despair around you now, in your own life and in the collective. If they are your own, jump back into them and ask the Holy Spirit to lift you in Grace and allow you to finally see the lesson in your pain. Look at the pain in the world and view it through objective eyes, not by taking sides and adding energy to the polarization. I will remind you that all beings on the planet are God at their source, just like you. Although people may be unconscious to their divine nature, God has not left anyone and never could.

Don't despair. You are beginningless, endless, formless, single, being, knowledge, bliss. You are life, itself! How can there be any despair in that? 





It is Better to Fight

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I love Swami Vivekananda and often sit down when I have a few minutes just to read a bit from any book in his complete works set. The beauty of Vivekananda is that he has a way of cutting through the mystical and getting right to the heart of Knowledge from a place that the western mind can cognize. He is profoundly rational in his approach to Jnana Yoga, or yoga of the mind, which is the same work we teach at The Kumara Center for Spiritual Awareness. I came across a passage a couple days ago that resonated very strongly with me concerning the challenge I see seekers dealing with now. He says this:

“Even forgiveness, if weak and passive, is not true: fight is better. Forgive when you could bring legions of angels to the victory. Krishna, the charioteer of Arjuna, hears him say, “Let us forgive our enemies,” and   answers, “You speak the words of wise men, but you are not a wise man, but a coward.”  As a lotus leaf, living in the water yet untouched by it, so should the soul be in the world. This is a battlefield, fight your way out. Life in this world is an attempt to see God. Make your life a manifestation of will strengthened by renunciation.”    Volume 8, p. 227

It takes experience for the serious seeker to begin to see themselves as a manifestation of the will of God, and then to use their understandings in order to move that will forward in the world of polarity.  Living in a state of detached, loving equanimity is a necessary step to being able to take action in the world without attachment and judgment. Many seekers get stuck on the concept of forgiveness.  They still believe that the actions of others deserve their forgiveness. In truth, the judgment that one feels toward another’s actions is only there to show you where you haven’t forgiven yourself for the same underlying action. Therefore, in forgiving another, you truly only forgive yourself.

There is no forgiveness outside of polarized consciousness. What could there possibly be to forgive when all know themselves to be divine and all function from their hearts? If we get locked in the concept that you have wronged me and the right thing to do is to forgive you, then we are missing the point.  Patterned consciousness is a program that can only reflect to us where we are identified with the program. You can’t judge another based on the fact that they are identified with a program. The program is not the person.

The program is the personality, but not the person.

When Jeshua said, “Forgive them father, for they know not what they do,” he was pointing exactly to this. People who are identified with the program of separation have no will of their own. They react to the world around them from the programming that was imprinted on them from birth. There is innocence in that, you see. You wouldn’t judge a child raised in the Midwest because he can’t speak Russian, but we judge the essence of the divine all around us every day because consciousness is identified with the story of separation.

You have to see it all as God.

Now the battle begins. At this place, you don’t stand in personal judgment anymore, but you can recognize when the program, through an individual, is working to undermine or sabotage Truth. From this place, you can take action as the will of the Divine in order to bring Light to the situation at hand.  You see, the spiritual warrior doesn’t lay down to die quietly, acquiescing to a fictional story. He fights the battle of good and evil going on at this level of reality while loving everything equally at the same time.  Jeshua overturned the tables of the money changers in the temple not because he faulted the individuals and judged them as evil. He was well aware that the money changers were lost in maya and functioned from within the program. However, he also was not going to stand idly by and watch this behavior continue, accepted by others, if there was something he could do about it.  In essence, the Christ called the lower mind out on its lies. He was communicating, “I see you and I (God) am stronger than you and your false story.” When done from this level of consciousness, taking this form of right action in the world can, and does, have a huge impact.

Easy for Jeshua, right?  You are all on your own paths to mastery and you won’t jump from identified, patterned consciousness to experiencing yourself as God in form and bringing higher Truths to the world for others to witness. But, having an understanding of the journey is a step on the path home.

Witness yourself in your life. Where do you see things come up that don’t sit right with your conscience? Do you take action in those situations, or sit back and do nothing? Do you hesitate out of fear of what people will think of you, or what they will say?  It is time to be the warrior in the battle of your own life. Your conscience is Divine and it is your responsibility to honor that conscience.

Now, take up arms and march into battle!