Heeding the Call of Your Conscience

Heeding the Call of Your Conscience

My message for my students of late has been centered around where you make your choices from. We are in times where the causality of our choices is leading to the effects we must experience in the outside world at a quicker rate than ever before, and the speed will only increase as we collectively move forward on our ascension path.  So, what do your choices have to do with your conscience?


Remember how I quoted Jiminy Cricket’s “let your conscience be your guide” mantra in my last blog? It is a statement full of Truth and wisdom. To reiterate, your conscience is Divine. It is part of your Knowing as a divine aspect of Great Spirit and to follow one’s conscience is to remain on course along the path that Spirit has laid out for itself as you. Conscience is listed in the dictionary as:  “the inner sense of what is right or wrong in one’s conduct or motives, impelling one toward right action.”  I like this definition, as right action is a term my students are all very familiar with.  If we break the word down into its two parts, con from the Latin meaning with and science from the Latin for knowledge, we can see from a higher level that the Divine is built into the meaning of the word. The omniscient, or all-knowing, God IS The Knower. One’s conscience, therefore, is with, or within, the Knower. So, to follow one’s conscience is to follow the Divine that you are.

It seems simple enough, doesn’t it?  Yet, people get confused between conscience and imprinted beliefs of right and wrong. Here’s how you can tell the difference. All things in this world present in opposites. We make a grave mistake by labeling anything as definitely right or wrong without acknowledging all the grey area between the polarities.  Let’s take killing as an example. The vast majority of the people on the planet believe killing other humans is wrong. Of those who believe in the eye for an eye mentality behind the death penalty and see killing of a guilty individual as justifiable, the vast majority of those would agree that the killing of an innocent person is wrong. So, now most of the people on the planet will fall into this category: it is wrong for an individual to kill an innocent person. However, how many of these people will have to rethink that belief when presented with a situation such as Dr. Kevorkian, who assisted terminally ill patients with their own suicides? Now we have an individual killing an innocent person. Some would argue that the consent of the person to be killed makes the difference here, but you see my point. Things in this world are never simple to label as always right or wrong. We teach our children that it is wrong to lie, yet is it wrong to lie to someone about where you’re taking them on the way to their surprise birthday party? If an old woman was on her death bed with only minutes to live and you got word that her son, who was on his way to be with her, was killed in a car accident, would it be wrong to withhold the truth of his death from her, or tell her he’s on his way? Or, because lying is “wrong,” should you just tell her the truth and watch her experience the agony of her loss during her final moments of life?

Beliefs are tricky things. The mind loves to identify with them and we work very hard to hold ourselves firmly to our beliefs, yet the mind is also very adept at skirting around those beliefs when it’s convenient and can serve its selfish agendas. It can always come up with a benevolent justifier for acting out of alignment with its beliefs, like the man who says he doesn’t believe in physical violence but hits his child and justifies the behavior by saying that the child asked for it. Did physical violence all of a sudden become right just because the man got angry and couldn’t control his temper? No, of course not. But the man will not allow himself to see his own hypocrisy, so he must now believe in his story of how the child brought it on himself.

Your conscience, on the other hand, is pretty black and white. Within your Knowing, you always have a sense of what is right action for you. Most of the time it is very subtle and we move through our lives not hearing the voice of the conscience very often. But, when we do, it is loud and clear to those who pay attention.  The best way to describe the feeling when one’s actions are out of alignment with one’s conscience is this: it’s icky. That’s right, it just feels icky inside you as you go to make a decision that is not right action for you. It’s certainly not a technical term, but I’m sure you all know that feeling.  It’s the feeling you women have experienced when you’ve allowed yourselves to be sexual with a man when you really didn’t want to. It’s the feeling many of you men had as children when other boys dared you to do something that you normally wouldn’t do, like beat up another boy or steal something. It’s the feeling that men and women experience at the wedding altar when a small part of them realizes they are making a mistake, yet they don’t stop the wedding.

Your conscience is specific to you. It is not tied to beliefs, but is integral to who you are and what this manifestation of you is meant to become.  I worked for a stock broker for a few years as an executive assistant. I was very good at my job, but I was really only there for the money and the sense of self-importance the job gave me. Because it was a very small firm, the owner needed me to get my Series 7 license so that I could handle trades in his absence. I took that test 3 times and I failed it 3 times…the last two times by one question! Each time, I had that icky feeling inside, telling me that this just wasn’t my path and I needed to come clean with my boss, but I ignored it, convinced that the raise it would bring me would be worth it. As a National Honor’s Society student with an above average IQ, there was absolutely no reason for me to fail this test three times, no matter how hard I studied. The result of my successive failures was being let go by my boss and it was hind site which showed me what a gift in disguise that was. However, imagine if I had just listened to that inner voice from the beginning. The one that said, “What are you doing? You know in your heart that this isn’t your path.” It would have saved my employers all that money, they could have found someone better suited to the job sooner, and I wouldn’t have had to experience all the angst I went through, just to end up being fired anyway.  The initial choice to take the job was made because I needed a job, I believed things about what the job said about who I was and I believed that money was more important and should be valued above my own happiness. These were beliefs that I learned as a child…that we all learn as children. Parents may tell their children that the most important thing in life is to be happy and that they should do what they love, but what kind of example have they set? They speak the words, but their actions prove otherwise to their innocent children who pattern themselves after their miserable, stressed-out parents who consistently point to the importance of money in life. And so it goes, on and on, people spouting out platitudes of how life should be, yet no one speaking is even listening to their own conscience and living the kind of life they espouse.

My path was never to be a stock broker. For some, it is. And those who have that as their divine plan would not experience the tugging of their conscience at the thought of taking the Series 7 test like I did. See how it is unique to you?

So, where are you not in alignment with your conscience in your life right now? When you find an area, you can look back and see where your conscience has given you indicators along the way that you were off course and you consistently ignored your own God Self. Then you can begin to take a good hard look at what kept you from taking right action and confronting those fears within yourself. You see, it’s never been about those people in your life who have imposed themselves on you. It’s always been about why you allowed it. That answer lies within you and it is your job now to uncover what you have not wanted to see.

You are a great sailing ship on the sea of God. The winds of the world will blow, to and fro, and your conscience will be your rudder.


Witness the Despair, but Don’t Despair

Witness the Despair, but Don't Despair

I see so much despair in the world right now. I have watched it systematically work its way into the conscious minds of my students through their life experiences, and I am also watching it become more conscious within the collective.  Humanity’s combined fear of experiencing the level of despair present in the collective unconscious has historically lead to social programming based in denial, repression, and false hope. Few, especially in the industrialized countries of the world, have allowed themselves to truly feel the deep levels of pain that the collective holds, yet we all feel it deep within.

It takes the courage of a warrior to go into that pain, see the lessons in it, and walk through the other side stronger and fearless of the future. That is your job as a seeker, you know. If you want to know God, then you will have to be willing to allow grief and despair course through you until their energetic stranglehold has been released. Most of my students are no strangers to despair. Some know it all too well and had become users of antidepressant medications in order to keep the wolf at bay. Other students of mine repressed their grief early on and became tough on the outside so that no one would see their pain, even to the point where even they couldn’t see it clearly anymore. And then there are other students who learned to paste a smile on their faces for themselves and the world and have done their best to deny the reality of their sadness by affirming that things will surely get better, yet they never actually do.

Do these different types of students have anything in common? Of course! They’re all the same, really. They have all learned to take on certain behaviors in response to the pain in their lives. By now, you probably are aware of the main roles that get played by the personality. There’s the victim (“poor me” – those who end up getting stuck in depression), the perpetrator (“poor me, so screw you” – those who put on a harsh front for the world) and the savior (“Poor you. Don’t worry, it will all be just fine” – those who pretend to be happy). And what do each of these have in common?  The base role for each is the same: the victim. Perpetrator and savior roles come out of the victim as the victim swings out of the lower states of mind. The perpetrator is very self-righteous and will stay in negative states of mind from that space, while the savior will swing into positive states of mind in order to feel better about a situation. But, they’re all victims at the core.

The entire collective of humanity is experiencing this.  On a grander scale, we can see whole societies playing the role of victim (Israel), perpetrator (Iraq) and savior (United States). Of course, perspective plays a large role, doesn’t it? For those in the west, maybe this list looks accurate, but for those in the middle east, I’m sure the collective does not experience the US as a savior, for instance. But, you get my point. The roles are always played out in some fashion, from the individual, through increasingly larger collectives until you reach the macrocosm (such as the sun as savior, sometimes perpetrator, and the Earth as savior and sometimes victim).

But, what is the despair actually based in? Have you thought to really look at it yet?  You’ve spent so much time running from your own pain that it never occurred to you to turn around and face it head on. If you did, would you find the pain you fear? Maybe…but not for long. You see, the pain you felt then may have been real enough in the moment, but it’s only real and scary to you now because you continue to hold the story of it in place, and the energy of pain is trapped within you. The pain is still personal, but it doesn’t need to be. The suffering experienced as a child resulted in the psyche taking on defense mechanisms which served a purpose for the child at the time, but those attitudes and behaviors that were taken on don’t need to define you as an adult. In fact, they will only continue to hurt you as an adult if your desire is to live a life of love and joy.

This is where the spiritual warrior really shows his strength. You see, it is difficult enough to face the fears and the projected pain necessary to see through the illusion of separation, and only a handful of seekers out of a hundred will be willing to dive that deep. Out of that handful, there may only be one who can take it to the next level, where the personal becomes impersonal and the story no longer holds an emotional charge at all…even stories that are currently running. There is a level of detachment that the adept lives in which must be reached in order to transcend the life/death cycle. This is not psychological disassociation, although to the world, it can look like it.  The adept no longer identifies with the personal stories of the world, meaning that there is no attachment to the personal story of “me” anymore and he/she doesn’t get pulled into others’ “me” stories, either. The adept lives a life where she can witness despair in the world, feel compassion for those in despair, yet experience no sense of despair herself. She is the objective observer of her own world, and not the “do-er” in it.

Become more conscious of the stories of despair around you now, in your own life and in the collective. If they are your own, jump back into them and ask the Holy Spirit to lift you in Grace and allow you to finally see the lesson in your pain. Look at the pain in the world and view it through objective eyes, not by taking sides and adding energy to the polarization. I will remind you that all beings on the planet are God at their source, just like you. Although people may be unconscious to their divine nature, God has not left anyone and never could.

Don’t despair. You are beginningless, endless, formless, single, being, knowledge, bliss. You are life, itself! How can there be any despair in that?



(2:30pm meeting starts)

Board Member Q/A
Shusara talked about having an event where the core council facilitated questions from participants. It would be a way for us to present the teachings from our understanding. Agreed to do this on alternating Monday and Wednesdays, 7pm. Agreed to begin this on Wednesday, September 10.

Elimination of CNW Meetup
Shusara talked about a CNW Meetup member, Ken Keicher. He was critical about us as a group, stating all we do is meditate. Shusara put forth to the group is it time to let the CNW Meetup go. Board discussed pros and cons of keeping CNW Meetup. Not that many people show up to events, we as a board don't really resonate with the entry level orientation of CNW events. Group supported getting rid of it. KCSA could offer community outreach programs that would have been presented as CNW. The last CNW event will be this month, the 16th. Board thought the 3rd Tuesday could remain a community oriented fun night: movie, game, etc.

Shusara showed the group the in-ergize video she did.

Satsang Archives
PielleAyan said the satsang archives in the store should be organized differently to show a part of the description. PielleAyan, Shusara, and Tim said we should have a satsang page on the site, it would also have a link to the archives.

Sibella Publications
PielleAyan followed up on an email she sent to the board in regards to a deal in getting advertising space on an online magazine, Sibella Publications. It's an online magazine focused on spiritual women. The ad will last for 15 months. Shusara has already designed the ad for the space we purchased.

Site Event Calendar
Shusara announced the event calendar on the web site. Tim demonstrated the different options of the calendar. Shusara wanted another category called AYE that the monthly meditations would have.

Social Networking Membership
Meetup KCSA + 7
Meetup CNW + 0
Meetup AYE + 9
Facebook KCSA + 9
Facebook CNW – 1
Facebook AYE + 67
Facebook 144K + 7
Global CNW + 1

Shusara asked if everyone understands Trello. Linda said she had trouble with it but seemed due to her vision.

(5:03pm meeting ends)
(October 4 is next meeting)

It is Better to Fight

It is Better to Fight

I love Swami Vivekananda and often sit down when I have a few minutes just to read a bit from any book in his complete works set. The beauty of Vivekananda is that he has a way of cutting through the mystical and getting right to the heart of Knowledge from a place that the western mind can cognize. He is profoundly rational in his approach to Jnana Yoga, or yoga of the mind, which is the same work we teach at The Kumara Center for Spiritual Awareness. I came across a passage a couple days ago that resonated very strongly with me concerning the challenge I see seekers dealing with now. He says this:

“Even forgiveness, if weak and passive, is not true: fight is better. Forgive when you could bring legions of angels to the victory. Krishna, the charioteer of Arjuna, hears him say, “Let us forgive our enemies,” and   answers, “You speak the words of wise men, but you are not a wise man, but a coward.”  As a lotus leaf, living in the water yet untouched by it, so should the soul be in the world. This is a battlefield, fight your way out. Life in this world is an attempt to see God. Make your life a manifestation of will strengthened by renunciation.”    Volume 8, p. 227

It takes experience for the serious seeker to begin to see themselves as a manifestation of the will of God, and then to use their understandings in order to move that will forward in the world of polarity.  Living in a state of detached, loving equanimity is a necessary step to being able to take action in the world without attachment and judgment. Many seekers get stuck on the concept of forgiveness.  They still believe that the actions of others deserve their forgiveness. In truth, the judgment that one feels toward another’s actions is only there to show you where you haven’t forgiven yourself for the same underlying action. Therefore, in forgiving another, you truly only forgive yourself.

There is no forgiveness outside of polarized consciousness. What could there possibly be to forgive when all know themselves to be divine and all function from their hearts? If we get locked in the concept that you have wronged me and the right thing to do is to forgive you, then we are missing the point.  Patterned consciousness is a program that can only reflect to us where we are identified with the program. You can’t judge another based on the fact that they are identified with a program. The program is not the person.

The program is the personality, but not the person.

When Jeshua said, “Forgive them father, for they know not what they do,” he was pointing exactly to this. People who are identified with the program of separation have no will of their own. They react to the world around them from the programming that was imprinted on them from birth. There is innocence in that, you see. You wouldn’t judge a child raised in the Midwest because he can’t speak Russian, but we judge the essence of the divine all around us every day because consciousness is identified with the story of separation.

You have to see it all as God.

Now the battle begins. At this place, you don’t stand in personal judgment anymore, but you can recognize when the program, through an individual, is working to undermine or sabotage Truth. From this place, you can take action as the will of the Divine in order to bring Light to the situation at hand.  You see, the spiritual warrior doesn’t lay down to die quietly, acquiescing to a fictional story. He fights the battle of good and evil going on at this level of reality while loving everything equally at the same time.  Jeshua overturned the tables of the money changers in the temple not because he faulted the individuals and judged them as evil. He was well aware that the money changers were lost in maya and functioned from within the program. However, he also was not going to stand idly by and watch this behavior continue, accepted by others, if there was something he could do about it.  In essence, the Christ called the lower mind out on its lies. He was communicating, “I see you and I (God) am stronger than you and your false story.” When done from this level of consciousness, taking this form of right action in the world can, and does, have a huge impact.

Easy for Jeshua, right?  You are all on your own paths to mastery and you won’t jump from identified, patterned consciousness to experiencing yourself as God in form and bringing higher Truths to the world for others to witness. But, having an understanding of the journey is a step on the path home.

Witness yourself in your life. Where do you see things come up that don’t sit right with your conscience? Do you take action in those situations, or sit back and do nothing? Do you hesitate out of fear of what people will think of you, or what they will say?  It is time to be the warrior in the battle of your own life. Your conscience is Divine and it is your responsibility to honor that conscience.

Now, take up arms and march into battle!



(2:09pm meeting starts)

Meghan put together a list of accountants to interview and questions to ask them. Our current accountant isn't serving our needs, not communicating well.

CNW Weekly Messages
Group agreed to post weekly messages on CNW Sunday, starting today, and they agreed on a certain order: Shusara, Perry, PielleAyan, Meghan, Linda. Board agreed to allow Meghan to do it on early Monday. Shusara said people should post on the CNW site first and then link to that in emails. Tim chose not to participate. Shusara asked Tim to communicate to her why he's not onboard with this.

Perry played a YouTube video discussing a conference where they were inviting applications for speakers. Applications due August 26. November 15 is the event. Shusara is fine with doing the event.

Meet and Greet
Group talked about the meet and greet and decided it would be better to postpone because the original date of August 19 was too close and did not leave time to advertise and get ready. Linda has eye surgeries coming up but no set dates as of yet. The group decided it might be better to try and do it in October, either 3rd or 4th Tuesday. Shusara said her 2 weeks away will be either the 3rd – 4th week of September or the 4th week of September into the first week of October.

Monthly Raffle Video
Tim brought up the monthly raffle video. PielleAyan is going to do it for this and last month's drawing. Group discussed having different people perform the raffle to make it easier on the raffle video being produced.

Satsang Difference
Shusara says she feels a shift in how satsang is run since we started our ritual from last board meeting. The only issue she has is that she doesn't have a space to get in a meditative state before satsang.

KCSA Growth and PR
Shusara has started writing a book. Partly because she realized a big benefit of being interviewed. She's thinking about taking 2 weeks off to work on the book. She and Perry need to bring in more income to pay for a task for Ryan. Shusara needs someone to work on the promotional work; she needs a PR person. PielleAyan has already started working on this. Shusara put out a general question as to how to get known and grow. PielleAyan said she downloaded a Doreen Virtue course that talked about how she did it.

KCSA Share Picture Quotes
Shusara feels we should share the KCSA quote pictures with other Facebook pages to increase likes on the page. Wants people to make the text that we post be individual to each person, not generic message. She also mentioned posting things to Facebook groups. Board agreed to post at least one picture to groups per week.

PielleAyan discussed bingo. Shusara asked PielleAyan to look at bingo as a way to bring in money because she couldn't do everything to bring in funds. Meghan discussed financial aspects of holding bingo. Getting a 501c(3) determination letter is important because it would allow us to host bingo, apply for grants, and other things. Board agreed to move forward with doing bingo. There's a cost of upwards of $1500 to get licenses.

Shusara on Other Programs
PielleAyan made Shusara a guest on other BBS programs, a magazine. She's looking at applying to be considered for Oprah's O network. She's emailed other people for interviews; Alan Steinfeld. She can't get the Facebook donate button to work. She's going to contact George Clooney, Woody Harrelson; Linda mentioned Jim Carrey.

Social Networking Membership
Meetup KCSA + 3
Meetup CNW + 4
Meetup AYE – ?
Facebook KCSA + 8
Facebook CNW + 3
Facebook AYE + 103
Global CNW + 0

Shusara handed out business cards and postcards to board members to distribute. She also gave each member a KCSA pen.

Shusara brought up a web site called Trello that can be used for task management.

Web Site Calendar
Calendar needs to be on the main site so that Shusara can advertise going there on Elemental Healing's newsletter.

(6:07pm meeting ends)
(September 6 is next meeting)

The Complicity in Complacency

The Complicity in Complacency

“With great power comes great responsibility.”  ~Voltaire

While this quote was originally directed toward the imbalances which existed at the time of the French Revolution, and later attributed to Marvel hero Spider Man, its underlying concept rings true in regard to spiritual adepts and those on a conscious spiritual path. You see, it’s just not enough to learn about spiritual truths from spiritual masters/guides and then take them on as your own without actually living from them. Your are responsible to live and make choices from the level of your understandings.

In other words, you have to be not only willing, but determined, to walk your talk. Anything else is pure hypocrisy.

I realize this is a big statement, and one that will ruffle some spiritual feathers. It should, because it’s true for many seekers today. So, are you a spiritual hypocrite? Does your life revolve around the spiritual community…going to meetups, attending local spiritual workshops, following prominent spiritual leaders on Facebook and “liking” all the comments that you agree with? Do you take time to comment on FB, feeling a need to add your own personal story as a way to show others how enlightened you are, all the while harboring judgments and ill feelings toward those outside of your spiritual circles?  Be honest, now. Can you love your neighbor when they let their dogs out at six in the morning and wake you up? Do you love your boss when he/she tells you that you aren’t performing up to expectations? Do you maintain your level of loving for those you care for the most when they don’t meet your expectations?

Tough questions to answer from an honest place.

Spiritual seekers tend to be hard working in the gaining of the mental knowledge needed to dissolve the attachments and desires of the world, but quite complacent in the application of these teachings.  As I often tell my students, it’s not enough just to see what’s at play because seeing it won’t dissolve it. True dissolution takes place when you move through the emotional level of each fear, belief, and attachment, because that is where the energetic charge which holds the dynamic in place is held. You have experienced pain in your lives at a time when your hearts were open and vulnerable.. The intensity of the pain was so strong that your mind engaged an entire matrix to keep you from re-experiencing those feelings. The pain was never dealt with and the energy was never neutralized, so it remains trapped within your consciousness. The way to liberation from the energy is to move back through the original pain…experiencing all the dynamics and owning it…and then using your higher understandings to see through the story. You must own it before you can disown it and holding the fear in the level of the unconscious only delays this process indefinitely.  This is exactly why you experience such strong emotional triggers in your life that are brought on by those around you.  It’s not them you are reacting to, but your own level of denial over what they represent to you.  It takes great courage to go into the fear…into the void of your own consciousness.

So, how does spiritual complacency lead to complicitiy?  Maya Angelou was quoted as saying something similar to the following:  “You did what you did because you didn’t know better. But, when you knew better, you did better.”  Wouldn’t it be grand if this statement held true for everyone? Complicity comes in the form of the seeker knowing better, but not doing better.  There is a certain amount of grace attached to taking wrongful action from a place of true innocence, such as the small child not understanding death who kills his first bug. There was no intent to harm within the child’s action. However, when that child grows and is given the understanding of life and death and to respect all life and then goes on to take pleasure in the torturing and killing of a small creature, that grace is no longer extended to him and his actions are karmicly binding. You see, he knows better, but because of the selfish desires of the ego, he chooses not to do better.

This is why the spiritual path is steep and narrow. The status quo of life before understanding vanishes quickly for the true seeker and the level of personal responsibility increases steadily as the personal self dissolves. You can no longer stand by and be complicit to the suffering around you by your conscious non-action. Where a need comes into your awareness, you do what you can to fill that need; not attaching to the outcome of your assistance, but extending your assistance to the best of your ability for its own sake.  This is the Christ…this is God.

How many “spiritual” people have I witnessed making light of human tragedy?  I hear things like, “they must have drawn it to themselves” or “its all perfect, so it happened exactly as it was supposed to.”  This is not in keeping with the teachings. Hear me well. You do not move into states of detached awareness in order to disassociate from the world and from your place in it.  The Christ engages because he/she is the only one who can truly be of assistance here. Do you understand? The personal self can’t truly be of assistance because it is polarized in the act of assisting. The Christ is not attached and lives in a state of compassion that the personal self has no means to understand. And it is this state of loving, compassionate equanimity that can change the world as we now experience it.

Do yourselves a favor…don’t come to the table until you’re ready to eat. If you aren’t hungry enough yet, leave room for someone else who is. And, when you are hungry enough to sit down, don’t play with your food…dive right in!

“Always let your conscience be your guide.”  ~Jiminy Cricket